These two books have been bought for Hartley, in his memory by two of my lovely friends. They are very appt and mean so much to James and I. It has been a very difficult week this week, I didn't know how much it would affect me but Hartley, although it wasn't confirmed, was meant to arrive tomorrow by elective csection. I was very angry at the beginning of the week but now feel slightly calmer. Part of the rollercoaster of it. I've found myself thinking I can't face people, haven't got the energy to cry again? People who don't know me well, people in shops who saw me grow but don't know asking what i had? That's a huge fear.........I can understand why ladies who've experienced this lock themselves away and then it gets bigger and more daunting.I have to make myself i know........................
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